Bans

Why stop at few, a silly few that would have sold a hundred copies or less. Those that would not even have caught a reader’s eye except some crank who would buy, read and nod his (or her) head and believe that the book was a message from God talking to him, to kill everyone in sight and cleanse the nation of all evil.

No, let us take the banning a step further, lets us subscribe to the Index of The Forbidden Books, if we have to follow the path of banners, lets us follow the leader, the most notorious. After all, them damn books are interfering with our goals, our agenda of a just and happy and peaceful society.

See, we banned drugs, didn’t we? See, how we have no drugs addicts now, none at all. You want marijuana, people; go to some other dammed lawless country. Our pubs don’t sell Ecstasy, no siree bob, no. Why, those that were born after the ban, don’t even what drug is, they think a drug is that strip of Panadols that Daddy buys from time to time when Mummy is in a prolonged grumbling mood. Or the Eucalyptus oil that Aunty next door keeps rubbing on her forehead.

Damn those who say banning doesn’t work.

Why, look at us, you goats and monkeys, look at us. We banned corruption and do you find any here, now? Well, perchance you do, I will bet my last stinking dollar that it because he read Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses when we sent him to study poultry farming to another country. That apart, we have no corruption,. Thank you very much.

Or poverty, we banned that too. No one here sleeps hungry anymore. We have a few other things we are keeping in our in files in our secret room in the secret house, things like adultery, sexual deviation etc. etc.

Why, it has come to our attention some us are not doing it in the accepted, certified way, the missionary style. (Although, we admit, under our breath, we don’t much care for the name… it seems, well, you know, missionary.)